I reached the tree as the mist was crowding in. I found the slab and pulled it away, dragging the box out into the wet grass.
I saw the lock was intact. I reached for the key under the leather tag round my ankle. Their thorough body search had failed to find it. The pouch was there, the stones still inside. I took them, pushing the box back into its hiding place.
I heard them coming for me. I slid over the wall into the ditch, covering myself with earth and moss.
The mist covered me; my shroud, my escape.
(Thanks to Maggie Duncan for the beautiful photograph)
This is something new for me. I like the challenge of 100 words.
Great take on the prompt. I find myself wanting to know more.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/
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Thank you. I have been working on a story about one of my ancestors for a long time; this is taken from something that happended during his life as a convict. The person retrieving the stones was his wife…………….
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I love the image of the shroud and escape. But I’m puzzled about how a thorough body search could have left a key around his/her ankle. Great visuals.
Here’s mine: http://wrasselings.blogspot.com/2012/08/friday-fictioneers-firmament.html
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Thank you.
It was difficult to get across what I wanted to say in 100 words. Originally it was an “intimate body search” – and as it is a woman who is retrieving the stones it may have been a better explanation as to why “they” overlooked the key in the leather tag.
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I liked it, except their thorough body search wasn’t too thorough.
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Thanks for reading and leaving a comment
I explain about the body search in an earlier reply.
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Very interesting tale – makes me want to know more about what’s going on! Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/flash-friday-fiction-13/
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Thank you for reading and for leaving a comment
I will make sure that I read your story too
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Captivating story. Piqued my curiosity about what the significance of the stones was, and who was coming.
http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/devolution-copyright-2012-ilyan-kei-lavanway/
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Tanks for reading and also for taking the time to comment
The story is part of something I have been working on for a while. It concerns an ancestor who was deported to Tasmania, his life and experiences
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Your story kept me hooked from the word to the last. Nice job!
http://whimsicalquestsofacuriousmind.blogspot.com/2012/08/friday-fictioneers-82412.html
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Thank you, much appreciated.
Your story is so atmospheric, hope he has losts more foggy mornings to come
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Great photo and the words are very atmospheric.
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Thank you, glad you liked it
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i like the ring of “my shroud, my escape” — nice
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Thanks for taking the time to read this and for your comment
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I’m guessing these stones are rare jewels…like diamonds, rubies, sapphires, etc, which he plans to sell to escape even further, perhaps out of the country. Even though he may be a hardened criminal or convict, I can’t believe I’m rooting for him to make it. Nice work. I’m #36 on the list.
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I’m guessing the stones are rare jewels, like diamonds, rubies, sapphires…something he can sell to make an even further escape perhaps out of the country. Even though he may be a hardened criminal or convict, I can’t believe I’m rooting for him to make it. Nice work. I’m #36 on the list.
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Yes you’re right on the button, only it’s a “she”
Thanks for taking the time to comment
🙂
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The 100 words really makes you use words to their fullest, doesn’t it. You grabbed my interest and I want to know–what’s in the box, who’s chasing her, what happens next? I particularly like your last line. But I hope the shroud only portends hiding, not dying.
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Thank you!
The shroud relates to hiding, not dying – well, not quite yet. 🙂
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Oh, good job on the escape and glad the mist was there to provide cover. Would love to know more!
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/the-haar-ff-240812/
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Thank you so much for your kind comments.
The story was taken from something I have been working on for quite a while. It concerns an ancestor who was deported to Tasmania for a crime he didnt commit; his journey to the other sire of the world and the criminal he married….lots more to go 🙂
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Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment.
I’ve read your story too, think you created such a great atmosphere there
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Hi Denise, a lovely little morsel I must say! So nice to see you over at my place is morning. I am enjoying being back on my perch, and seeing my blogging buds once again. Margie
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Hi Margie
Glad you liked my first attempt at telling a story in 100 words. I found it quite difficult as I usually use three words where one will do!!
It was good to hear from you and glad to know you are back on your perch
Take care
Dee
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