Almost A Family
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
They stood facing each other in the bare, dimly lit room.
‘Do you want this?’
‘Yes, they are my family.’
He tossed the album into the box labelled ‘’Irina”.
“What about this?
He held up a grubby blue teddy bear, waving it menacingly from side to side as he walked towards her.
‘Don’t, please not again.’ The blow knocked her to the floor.
‘I would have had a family too, if you hadn’t lost him. Now you’re trying to leave. You were very careless Irina, what shall I do with you?’
He lunged for her.
And never saw the knife.
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The dark cloud from last week has lifted – yay! However, the photo from Bjorn reminded me of a story I read in the press a while ago, about a body being discovered in an abandoned, almost derelict house. The authorities had a very tangled web to unravel to discover what happened. So colour me ‘dark’ again this week.
Thank you to our ever patient Chef de Mission – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and to all the other Friday Fictioneers who write such brilliant stories each week.
Dark indeed.. and yes there are so many layers of sadness weaved into this. A lost child.. who had really been careless? .. and the end when it’s all down to survival.. so sad when it ends like this.. almost like an antique drama.
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Thank you Bjorn and for your intriguing photograph
🙂
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I see you went dark this week. 😉 I had a girlfriend named Irina (she went by the pronunciation of Irena) who was a sweetie … and probably could have beaten me up if she wanted to. She was really nice, though. Good work, Dee.
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Thanks Kent – I’m sure your Irena would have been too nice to think about beating you up!
Glad you liked it.
Dee
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You’re right. She was!
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Yes, very dark. But well written.
Claire
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Thanks Clare
Yes it was a bit dark for me, but pleased you liked it
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It IS dark. Great last line.
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Thank you Patrick
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Wow, this is such an atmospheric story. I felt and pictured every word – well written. I loved the ending. A satisfied reader!
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That’s so good to know Maree, thanks for reading
Dee
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Dear Dee,
Very dark. You’ve subtly written a novel in 100 words. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, you’re offing people, and you never let me know! Good one, Dee.
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I’m thinking it wasn’t her fault. Good story. Well done.
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You twisted and turned this story, it was an interesting experience figuring it out.
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Very cutting piece.
Sad. Well written… Randy
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Strong story, gave me goosebumps!
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Chillingly dark… but I must say, Dee, it suits you. You have written some very compelling stories in the past few weeks.
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Thank you Dawn, I appreciate that.
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Dee, I agree that it was dark, but very well written. I could picture it happening. It would be heartbreaking to lose a child, and worse still if it resulted in abuse. Well done. 🙂 —Susan
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Thank you very much Susan, a very tragic scenario indeed. Will try and lighten up a bit this week. Dee
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Great storytelling and nicely written, Dee. I can see this house having a dark story like this attached to it.
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Thank you Amy, think you are right about that house.
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Good for her!!!
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Definitely 🙂
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