It’s a lovely morning here, the sun is streaming in though the windows as I write, it looks more like spring than autumn. In any event, it’s a lovely day to wish a very Happy Birthday to Rochelle and to my sister, who also celebrates today.
I watched a building, much older than the one pictured, being pulled down a few days ago, and wondered…
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
Past Forgiving
From a safe distance, I watch the demolition team start work. A small group of people gather at the safety barrier; I recognise a few of them, but doubt many would recognise me, now.
The place that was once my home but became my prison, is reduced to piles of rubble. A workman in the basement shouts something to his supervisor who runs across the street.
Mrs Goodman leaves the group of onlookers; she glances in my direction, a half smile forming on her thin lips as she walks away. We both know what’s been found; no point hanging around.
The jailer is unearthed! I like the way the plot unfolds: well done.
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Thank you Mick, always good to hear from you 🙂
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Dear Dee,
Well told story…good buildup to the ominous end.
Happy birthday to your sister. September 4 is a good day. Another of our FF’rs, Randy Mazie, has a birthday today.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you.
September 4 is certainly a good day, my friend’s son Sam, has a birthday today too. It’s funny, his birthday is the same as my sister’s (and yours and Randy’s) and his mother’s birthday is the same day as mine. No excuses…
Take care
Dee
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What an intriguing hint at the ominous story behind all this! Mrs Goodman’s smile was an especially clever touch, I thought.
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Thank you Joy, pleased that bit worked 😀
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Ohhhh! Delicious. I know quite a few (DV) who would love to have place to bury a few.
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… I might add, a few HTs we’d like to bury. fictionally of course.
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Thank you Shandra
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Oo-er! Something nasty in the wood-pile? Nicely understated.
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Thank you Liz, definitely someone nasty in the basement…
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Wow. This was a great read, building more interest with every sentence, to a gruesome but satisfying conclusion.
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Thank you Jan, so pleased you enjoyed it 😀
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My kinda story! I love a sinister undertone. Bril!
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Thanks Rosie, glad you approve 😀
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Dee, wonderfully done with just the right amount of reveal and mystery! You conveyed the atmosphere perfectly.
janet
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Thank you Janet, lovely to have you back here again 😀
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Lots to read between the lines in this story. I love the dynamics between the narrator and Mrs Goodman. Fascinating.
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Thank you Margaret, glad you liked it.
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Beautifully paced, with a very satisfying ending. Well done, Dee.
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Thank you Sandra, pleased you liked it.
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Cool! Something right out of a mystery story! I like it!! 🙂
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Thanks Courtney pleased you like it 😀
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A body? Treasure? What could it be?? Nice cliff hanger ending. Makes me want more.
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It is the classic ‘body in the basement’ I’m afraid. Thank you for your kind comments Erin.
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I love the smile you share with the reader, as if we were in on it.
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Thank you Dawn. 🙂
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Wonderful!
So much said, so much unsaid.
I love it.
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Thank you CE.
You like it, I’m happy
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I like this very much. It starts out nostalgic and ends wonderfully dark. We have more questions than answers but still, things seem clear.
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It started life as a bystander’s memories of old building that was being pulled down. It ended with a body in the basement… thank you for reading.
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Great read, enjoyed it thoroughly. Glad to have come across your work.
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Thank you for reading, good to meet you too.
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Great build up of tension. Recognition and discovery. Well done- superb story
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Thank you Irene, much appreciated 🙂
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A very interesting read, love the way it ended.
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Thank you for reading, pleased you liked it 😀
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