I missed Friday Fictioneers last week. I couldn’t make the deadline and I really missed reading everyone else’s stories. I am back this week in time to submit a story, but then I’m travelling to France for a few days. I will catch up when I get back. Thanks to Rochelle for never missing a beat, what would we do without her? Thanks to Kent Bonham for the photo this week, I’ve been lucky enough to have seen a lot of Gaudi’s work both in Barcelona and in Palma – totally unforgettable.
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
SWEET REVENGE
I stand silently in the shadows, waiting.
A taxi pulls up and a man alights. I quickly cross the road and as he opens the door I slip in behind him, heart pounding. He walks on down the hallway without looking back.
I scan the names on the mailboxes. Elena Avila – Penthouse. My former friend has come a long way indeed.
I slide the small, instantly recognisable gold box inside. It’s been resealed; she will see the expensive chocolates nothing else. She has always taken other people’s things, this time it’s my husband.
I’ve decided she can’t have him.
Oooh, I think Elena is going to be in for a nasty shock. I hope she shares the chocolates with that no-good wandering husband. I also hope that the chocolates have been handmade using Chocolate Laxettes triple strength 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Lyn.
That would be revenge indeed!!
Dee
LikeLike
Excellent love-to-crime story!
LikeLike
Thank you Jan, glad you liked it
Dee
LikeLike
Very good, very tight, and a full story. Revenge is best served cold!
LikeLike
Yes indeed!
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, much appreciated
Dee
LikeLike
Ah!! Loved it! And good for her! ;D
LikeLike
Thank you, glad you liked this
Dee
LikeLike
Sweet revenge indeed, you took me on that little journey. Nicely done 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Jenny, so pleased you liked my little tale of revenge
Dee
LikeLike
Loud Gasp!!! Sweet revenge, indeed. Good for her. This could be the beginning of something delicious…as delicious as those chocolates. I want to read more. Well done.
LikeLike
Hi Lora
Thank you for reading, a bit of a detour for me, but actually quite enjoyed writing it
Hope you are keeping well
Dee
🙂
LikeLike
Oh, dear… Revenge is definitely ‘sweet’ in this instance… 😉
LikeLike
Yes, sweet and swift in this instance
Thank you for reading
Dee
LikeLike
Now there’s a woman who won’t take things lying down. I love a fighter… 🙂
LikeLike
Oh yes, me too.
Dee
LikeLike
True love, or an overly possessive mind? Either way, I’d be a tad petrified to be married to this one.
LikeLike
Thanks for reading Troy
She is very possessive and I’m not sure what she will do when she gets him back…
That’s another story!
Dee
LikeLike
Ouch! Hadn’t thought of that other shoe dropping…!
LikeLike
I think she should stay away from those chocolates!
Your last line packs a lot of power. Great stuff 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you Elf, glad you liked it.
Most women have a weakness for chocolates, Elena is no different, so I guess she’s a goner…
Dee
LikeLike
Ahh.. there is always a weak spot somewhere. And in the case of women it’s alway chocolate.
LikeLike
Yes it is. Plain, white, milk…
Thanks for reading
Dee
LikeLike
Revenge indeed. I have a feeling there will be a “kaboom” in someone’s future. Or perhaps one last strangling sound?
LikeLike
One last choking/strangling sound I think
Imagination running riot here.
Dee
LikeLike
Among my top ten favourites for this clutch of flash fiction stories. A nice little revenge story, well told and with a sting in the tail (and something else in the chocolates).
LikeLike
Thank you John, so glad you liked this little tale of love and revenge and flattered that it ranks in your top 10
Dee
🙂
LikeLike
I wish my being behind on reading were from going to France for a few days rather than criss-crossing the eastern US in the van. 🙂 Have fun and thanks for the enjoyable story (although not so much for the cheating couple, I think.)
janet
LikeLike
Thank you Janet.
I enjoyed my short trip to France, only three days but seemed a lot longer.
Are you still travelling?
Going to catch up on my reading now
Take care
Dee
LikeLike
Ha! That is a sweet revenge! Very fun. I love how the building simply creates an appropriate setting and is not the subject.
LikeLike
Yes I must admit I was a bit stuck when I first saw the beautiful photo.
After several attempts at stories inside the building that were far too long, I decided that my narrator would just hide in shadows outside, watching and waiting.
Thank you for reading
Dee
LikeLike
Nice little tale of revenge. Fair warning to stay away from your husband and stay away from your chocolates too! 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful trip to France.
LikeLike
Ha ha.
Thank you for reading.
I enjoyeed the trip to France, nice weather, wine and food, need I say more…?
Dee
LikeLike
She should give a few of these chocolates to her husband as well.
LikeLike
Hmm I’m not sure what she intends to do if she gets him back…
Thanks for reading
Dee
LikeLike
Dear Dee,
Nothing says revenge better than poison chocolates. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle
Shame really to use chocolates as the carrier for this dark deed, as I am rather partial to them myself. But I think they would do the job perfectly.
Thank you for reading
Take care
Dee
🙂
LikeLike
Wow, I love the cold determination in the narration. Great job.
LikeLike
Thank you David
Glad you liked it and thanks for reading
Dee
LikeLike
A tightly woven tale! I too wonder what she has planned for the errant husband. Will there be more on this?
LikeLike
Thank you.
I hadn’t thought of writing any more, but I could always think about it…
Dee
LikeLike