The photo this week, courtesy of Jen Pendergast, reminded me of a visit to Canada a few year ago. We wanted to take a train back from Edmonton to Calgary and were told that no passenger trains ran from north to south, only west to east. On the drive back, we watched the longest freight train we have ever seen, mile, after mile, after mile and reflected that Canada was indeed a vast country.
Thanks to Jen for the photo and to Rochelle the conductor of Friday Fictioneers, collecting more and more writers each week.
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
LEAVING
Stella took the subway. Seeking the protection of strangers, she slowly made her way through the crowd. People grew restless as the train approached; she felt pressure in the small of her back, then heard the familiar menacing voice near her ear. As she was forced forward the crowd parted, as she stumbled they watched in horror as a figure tripped over her.
Stella watched impassively as the remains of her husband were collected and bagged. She remembered his threats, what he would do to her if ever she tried to leave him, and smiled at the vagaries of fate.
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And now the song “Goodbye Earl” is singing in my head. It’s a happy little tune 🙂
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Have to check that out …
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Oh No! You just gave my wife an idea.
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Just keep away from the subway!!! Thanks for reading 😊
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Dear Dee, Well, I guess she took care of him and his threats! Good job and well done! Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan. I think she is well rid of him 😊
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Folk think there’s safety in numbers. If you’re in a crowd of cowards, you’re on your own.
A well crafted tale: well done.
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Thanks for reading Mick, pleased you liked this 😊
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Oh I just love poetic justice. Your description of the initial part of the attack was really good, I could feel rising panic and irritation that the crowd was parting to allow the attack to continue. Good one. (Not waiting next to you on the underground though…)
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Haha… Glad you liked it, we were in London recently and don’t usually take the tube as we prefer to walk. We wanted to get to the Shard so took the tube and I’d forgotten how intimidating the crowd on the platform can be. 😊
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Dear Dee,
There’s leaving and then there’s leaving. Poetic justice is nice to read. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
There is indeed!
Thank you for reading, pleased you liked it
Best wishes
Dee
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Oh dear, what a shame, never mind!
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Isn’t amazing how people think they are invincible…and all it took was a tumble…Nice story!
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Yes it is and equally, how life has a way of showing them they aren’t after all!
Thank you for reading, nice to hear from you.
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I really liked the tense build up as he approached her and the ending was fabulous. Now, that’s karma!
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Thank you for reading Rachel, pleased you liked the story.
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Well crafted story. I was totally surprised by the end. Kudos.
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Thank you. So pleased you liked it 😊
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Great story, Dee! I love poetic endings.
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Thank you Lynda 😊
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The build-up was great, and the denouement was perfect!
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Thank you Jan 😊
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Well, the husband had that one all wrong, didn’t he? Well crafted story, Dee. I could see it all happening. Nicely done.
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Yes he did! Thanks Amy 😊
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I don’t do subways… anymore.
Randy
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Brilliant! Thanks for reading Randy.
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It worked out better than she could have hoped for – freedom and no fear. Well written and well told!
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Thank you Erin 🙂
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Well, bad intent backfired on Hubby. Don’t think I’d want to watch them pick up the pieces though. Very well written, Dee.
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Me neither…
Thanks for reading Russ.
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Oohhh! Don’t mess with a determined woman! Loved it.
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Too right!! Thank you for reading 😊
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Oh my… Dee, this is fiendishly great! Who would think of such a thing… um, you. And therein is part of the magic! That last line is just fantastic.
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The idea came on a visit to London a couple of weeks ago. There we were, two country bumpkins on a crowded underground platform when the crowd surged forward as the train approached, and I wondered, what if…
Thanks for reading, it always good to hear from you, do hope you are feeling better 🙂
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OH MY… so it indeed was your idea! Brilliant!! Simply brilliant, Dee. It deserves a longer story.
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Thanks Dawn, perhaps it’s something I could think about …
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Yes – the vagaries of fate. Lots to ponder there. I love the details – the sound of his voice in her ear, the viewpoint of the crowd. Gripping. The final twist is great.
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Thank you for reading, glad you liked it.
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Those trains scare me. People are always leaning out to see if it’s coming. I rode the one in Chicago. Looks like the right person had the accident here. At least she didn’t push him. Well written, Dee. — Suzanne
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Thank you Suzanne, not a fan of the underground but at least it moves you round the city very quickly.
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