Waiting


As a little white rabbit said “I’m late, I’m late…”

But I managed to pull something together eventually.  The thing about Friday Fictioneers is the big hook, once you’re on you just don’t want to wriggle off!  The photo this week is courtesy of Lora Mitchell and the Friday Fictioneers are lovingly corralled each week by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

lilies-lora-mitchell

Genre: Fiction

Word Count:  100

Waiting

Martha stares out at the city one last time.

Seems she is always waiting.

She had waited for a husband to love.

She had waited a while for their first child.

She had waited in vain for their second.

She had waited for her husband to love her as she loved him.

 

She waits for the bus, holding one bag and one silent child, ‘can’t have any more that don’t speak’

She waits at her mother’s door for the comforting arms that will hold them both; for the heart that is bigger than the ocean, to envelop them in love.

Advertisements

42 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. Dee, hope the rugby’s going your way. Wish we got it here. As for being late, you’re not too late unless the links are closed. You’re so right about the hook–it’s an addictive one!!

    Am I right that the child is mute? Nicely done story of the love of two moms.

    janet

    Like

    • Hi Janet
      Thanks for reading and yes you are right, the child is mute.
      The rugby was superb, Wales 30 England 3 which means Wales denied England a Grand Slam victory and won the 6 Nations Championship on points.
      A great day in Cardiff.

      Like

  2. Dear Dee,
    A very sweet story. If you’re open to a bit of constructive crit, I think If you took out the word had in had waited, it will strengthen those sentences. Since the first couple of sentences are present tense, we’ll get the idea without the passive voice. “She waited for a husband. She waited…” and so on. Of course, it’s your call but I’d urge you to try it on for size. 😉
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    Like

    • Dear Rochelle
      Thank you for reading and for your comments. I originally wrote this in the present tense and then wondered if people would understand, so I changed it.
      I’ll put up another version and see what happens.
      Thanks as usual for taking the time for constructive criticism
      Happy Sunday
      Dee

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s